The piece was written for and first published at T.B.C, as part of a series of first time descriptions. The world around us freezes every winter, the ground hardens and is inhospitable for months. Nature is harsh, the winds blow and rain, hail and snow swamp the ground. The earth endures the pain and hardship … Continue reading There’s only one first time
Yesterday was my gran's funeral. I don't want to say anything particular about losing her, but I wanted to share the reading I did during the service. God's Garden (by Katie Evans) God looked around his garden, and he found an empty place. He then looked down upon this earth, and saw your tired face. … Continue reading Saying goodbye
Today is the second anniversary of baby boy3 being born. I'm finding things harder this year. With all the busy-ness and stress of working and home learning and me doing RED January, I've barely had a moment to pause and take stock. I'm not in a place where I have much that I can put … Continue reading Boy3’s Second Anniversary
It's Baby Loss Awareness Week. On Thursday 15th October 2020, it's a special day to remember our babies we didn't get to keep and raise awareness. I'll either be taking the day off social media or muting some topics. It's vitally important that we raise awareness of baby and infant loss and miscarriage. Families that … Continue reading Baby Loss Awareness Week 2020
I originally wrote parts of this as a section in my post Inspirational, about women I know who set an example that I aspire to. Today is the anniversary of my sister's birth. We didn't keep her for long and I don't want to write about her. I do want to acknowledge how amazing my … Continue reading My amazing mum
2019 has been a rollercoaster. So we're not making big plans for 2020. Its been a big year, we started off expecting a surprise third baby - buying maternity clothes in the sales and planning a new car big enough for three seats. By the end of January that was all over, disastrous and heartbreaking. … Continue reading Here comes 2020
On 31st January 2019 our third son was born sleeping at almost 20 weeks gestation. Those are the hard facts, cold and unemotional. The three days before were spent in hospital desperately hoping that the next option offered by a wonderful team of doctors and midwives would be the one to keep him inside and … Continue reading Recovery after loss
Today I was surprised. It was the result of my own biases and stereotypes and I hope I will learn to be more aware of my potential to make assumptions about people as a result. Joiners Sounds a bit of a random jump to make, right? Hear me out its not that complicated really. Today … Continue reading Gentleness in surprising places
Today someone I follow on Twitter (https://mrshsfavouritethings.com/ Lucy) shared this: http://mummyintraining.co.uk/2018/01/dont-scared-baby-loss-mama/ It got me thinking about how people have been with me through our losses (we've had three, most recently at 20 weeks in January 2019, plus large boy is nearly 8 and small is 4). Tears The friend who heard that boy3 had been … Continue reading Reaction to loss: It takes all sorts
It's baby loss awareness week. In some ways I feel I ought to be telling my story. But I'm not ready yet and the one very important thing to remember when dealing with loss (of any kind) is not to rush yourself. So I'm going to wait until I am ready. Instead, I want to … Continue reading Phantom kicks
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