It was Baby Loss Awareness Week last week. I almost managed to avoid it altogether. Last year I wrote about what coping looks like, the year before I discussed our loss. Before that I looked at different ways we react to loss. But personally and in my real life, I don't engage in BLAW. I've… Continue reading No more babies
Here we are again, June 17th. This was the date in 2019 that boy3 was scheduled to be born by caesarean section. So even though it's four and a half months after his actual birthday, today remains an unforgettable date for us. We've just made it through another holiday where we seemed to be surrounded… Continue reading Another year passed
Trigger warning: miscarriage I feel like I'm treading water in my grief. I know we don't always have to be moving forwards, that backwards is OK too. Maybe it's not even like I'm treading water because that's an active attempt to keep afloat. I'm rather effortlessly and aimlessly drifting. I don't know where I am… Continue reading Waves of grief
I'll be honest, not much has changed for me in terms of my reaction to Baby Loss Awareness week since last year. I'm not going to be active on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram talking about miscarriage and baby loss. All I want to say on social media is that I don't want to.... https://www.facebook.com/andsmellysocks/posts/406351987805420… Continue reading BLAW: What does coping look like?
Well, I faced it again. 17th June wasn't baby boy3's birthday and I made it through. No toddler joyfully screaming, running amok, smearing cake everywhere, overtired and spoiled by their family and friends. No midnight wake ups or relief at sleeping through. No teething drool, no funny ways of saying new words. No adjustments to… Continue reading Not a birthday
Today is the second anniversary of baby boy3 being born. I'm finding things harder this year. With all the busy-ness and stress of working and home learning and me doing RED January, I've barely had a moment to pause and take stock. I'm not in a place where I have much that I can put… Continue reading Boy3’s Second Anniversary