It’s not about you

Right, so here’s the thing that’s annoying me lately.

Self-centredness.

Is that even a word? I think so.

I mean people who forget that there’s anything outside their little world or that other people have different experiences, needs, abilities, finances and so on.

Like what?

Like those who don’t want to vaccinate because the vaccines aren’t sufficiently tested. They don’t mean that. They mean they aren’t tested enough “for them”. They think they’re special and they shouldn’t have to expose themselves or their loved ones to a perceived risk until they know it’s absolutely safe in the long term. How do we find that out? Oh by letting everyone else get vaccinated and then when we’ve proved it’s OK, then they’ll deem it safe.

Oh my goodness! It’s not about you! It’s not about whether the vaccine is safe for you. It’s not about whether the vaccine will protect you.

It’s about whether you getting vaccinated will protect the vulnerable people around you, prevent you from getting hospitalized and thus taking up resources that are desperately needed for others. It’s about our society as a whole and doing the best thing for everyone.

It’s not about you!

What else?

The mum who complained that her child was loosing too much learning time by doing half a day of PE, a few hours of music and taken to swimming lessons at school. Her child was not excelling at maths and literacy anymore because he’s being made to do all these pointless things when he ought to be learning. She complained that he can swim already and plays football on the weekend and has guitar lessons, so why does school need to do all that all over again?

Oh my goodness! Since when are maths and literacy the only valuable types of learning? Since when is school catering only for the privileged? What about the kids in that class who have the potential to be great musicians, if only the have the opportunity to learn? Or the ones whose parents can’t afford swimming lessons, but if they learn at school maybe that’ll save their lives one day? What about the kids who find the formal desk-based learning awfully stressful and upsetting, but access calm self-expression through music? Or excel at physical coordination but struggle with dyslexia or dyspraxia? Don’t they deserve to have the chance to fly high at school? to be the best at something? or at least not the worse?

But as far as she was concerned, none of those kids mattered or even existed, because her son wasn’t doing enough maths. “He’s wasting his days at that school!”

What’s she teaching her kids about empathy, collaboration, diversity or privilege?

It’s not about you!

How about the colleague who claims “well how am I supposed to remember” (that task that you’ve been informed of four times and had whole half hours spent getting explained to you)? You know what, put a reminder in your calendar, or write a note, or create a personal task, or ANYTHING! Just take responsibility for yourself and the impact that your actions have on others. It’s not up to me or anyone else to remind you of your job. You get to decide how to manage your tasks and make sure you know what you’re doing. Other people don’t have more time than you, certainly they don’t have time to keep reminding you and prodding you and keeping you on task. You’re given a task, it’s explained to you and the deadline is specified along with the expected result. Deal with it. Oh that’s too hard for you?

What about your colleagues who were relying on you to deliver something? Or who you ask the same question three times because you didn’t make a note? Or who you’re rude to and accuse of not telling you or failing in their job of reminding you? Or whose time you waste explaining it again? Or your manager who has to make the peace after you take your guilt at forgetting out on others?

It’s not about you!

It’s not about me either. So when school locked the back gate and gave me an extra 10 mins walk to fetch the kids down an unlit muddy path in the middle of winter, sure I moaned but I didn’t complain to school – because it’s a safeguarding issue and my inconvenience isn’t important. When my colleague is useless, I’m patient and explain again because getting the product ready for the customer is more important. And sure, injections hurt and vaccines can cause a reaction but it’s not about short term discomfort for me. It’s about taking shared responsibility for everyone’s health and wellbeing.

I’ll stop ranting now. Just needed to get that off my chest.