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Friends, Health

Guilt in the time of COVID

Smelly Socks and Garden Peas

This is one of those random musings posts that I started writing my blog for. Letting the thoughts out of my head.

We’re all used to mummy guilt, or parenting guilt. We feel like we aren’t doing enough, or we aren’t doing it well enough, we’re missing things or our kids are missing out or we aren’t setting the example we want to.

Well, with COVID we can feel some of that lifted. No one’s parents are organising big parties or play dates or taking their kids on fabulous experience-ridden holidays. And maybe we a bit more time, from all the not going places, we’re spending a bit more time together and cooking more homemade dinners.

But I’ve just experienced a different guilt instead.

It’s my friend’s birthday on Monday – if you’ve read my blog for a while, this is the friend who’s totally honest and good for the soul. She’s suggested a slap up meal in the pub for 6 of us on Saturday. But I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I’ve said no to himself going out for a posh dinner for our wedding anniversary, so I’d be rather a hypocrite to say yes to the pub. But anyway it just doesn’t sit well with me. Numbers are rising nationally and locally and if we all go out on a whim, it’ll just get worse. Its not a specific risk I’m worried about but a general one.

But now I feel guilty that I’m not being a good friend and I’m not showing my love for this wonderful person.

I know it’s a rock and hard place thing.

That doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad though. I think I’ll organise her a little bottle of gin and prosecco instead.

Guilt in the time of COVID

Published by Smelly Socks and Garden Peas

Rants, rambles, loss, gin, guests, recipes, funny kids, occasional poems, and a bit of running.

51 thoughts on “Guilt in the time of COVID”

  1. Pingback: Second blogiversary – Smelly Socks and Garden Peas

  4. Aww, you are really a very good friend, but I am sure your friend will understand you. This is a rough time we all are going through and missing so many things. Anyways lets hope for best and next year plan something big for your friend

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  5. Pingback: The week gone by — Oct. 11 – A Silly Place

  6. You’ve found the silver lining of COVID – no more mommy guilt! Just kidding – I’m with you when it comes to cancelling social get togethers. It’s not worth the risk. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic!

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  7. Looks like the votes are in and on your side, SSGP. Let all these statements of support help you squash those feelings of guilt. You’ve chosen the high road in the interest of others; nothing wrong with that!

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  11. So many things we want to do with people we love but we have to be very cautious. Unfortunately cases are rising again, its becoming uncontrollable compared before. A lot of sacrifices has to be made individually for us to get through this. Don’t worry too much.

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  12. This is definitely something that I’ve also been struggling with. It’s Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada this weekend. A time for family, friends, and getting together. It has been a harsh reminder of the fact that we haven’t been able to spend the time together recently that we normally would have. I know of some family and friends that have decided recommendations be damned, they are going for it anyway – but it’s just not something that I’m personally comfortable doing with the numbers on the rise once again.

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  16. I understand that guilty feeling. Any outing or contact with other makes me wonder what is best for me and my fam. There is a wedding this month for our lifelong friends son. I’m going, with mask, but worrying as well. Your friend seems to be lifelong as well. Enjoy that gin together!

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  19. I am sure your friend will understand. It is difficult right now. This weekend is Thanksgiving in Canada. My sister-in-law has invited us for dinner and we are torn. It would be a very small gathering but I worry about potentially exposing my mother-in-law to anything. On the other hand, it’s the first Thanksgving since my father-in-law died so I feel it would be good to spend it with the family.

    Damn COVID!

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  20. It’s a tough one if your friend doesn’t understand the reasoning, but hopefully you can explain this. I personally feel that friend should definitely understand (even though it’s not my place to say this) because the pandemic hasn’t changed since the initial lockdown when all pubs and restaurants were closed. It’s dangerous and it’s not worth the risk, to anyone, not just the vulnerable. Stick to your guns. A bottle of gin and a promise that you’ll get together and have the best time possible once the pandemic is over would be worth more than you all possibly catching coronavirus or than you feeling guilted into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with.

    Caz xx

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  22. Wow there is so much guilt right now isn’t there! I have guilt coming out of my ears: am I exercising enough? Am I working hard enough? Am I taking enough breaks? Should I feel like this!? Can I be stronger! It’s a mess! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like this!

    Rosie

    loverosiee.co.uk

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  23. Oh I feel this! I am feeling so torn all the time. I like to visit my Dad every weekend but I am missing out on valuable family time which I have grown to appreciate even more. I literally spend the whole week justifying it to myself.

    I love seeing my Dad, I am worried about how much time he spends alone now due to Covid but I worry about exposing him to something as I work in a school. Plus the FOMO at home as well.

    The whole thing is just killing me if I am honest.

    I wouldn’t go either, but I would probably try and do something special for your friend x

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      2. My grandma’s neighbour was supposed to be helping her but at 95 I think the technology was just too much for her. We’ve managed to facetime when my parents visited her though which was lovely.
        Could anyone help you guys out that way?

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  25. This are definitely strange times… which are bringing up all sorts of new feelings. For me, it’s the ‘feeling unproductive guilt’…But it’s always best to go with your gut in any circumstance. x

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