home working set up, two monitors, laptop, printer, lots of mess, water bottle and jumper

The temptation of the laptop

So the hardest thing about working from home is that you’re always at work. Well so long as you’re in the house that is.

I’m having an evening where I’m re-evaluating my relationship with my laptop and my email.

I’ve always been proud that I don’t work weekends and I never ever have, in 12 years. I’m proud that I don’t have my work email on my phone.

That means I have excellent work life balance right?

Well I fear not. Here I am at 8.15pm glued to the sofa. Not because I’m riveted to Killing Eve (although it is very good) but because it’s safer to be glued here than getting off it. If I get off the sofa I will be drawn magnetically to my laptop. It’s in my office, with a closed door but it’s calling to me.

Work’s busy at the moment, my boss has retired and I’ve got more responsibilities these days. There’s lots of new exciting stuff going on and deadlines looming.

That’s no excuse though.

If I worked in the office I would have left my laptop there – like the old days. But maybe I would have stayed later and seen less of the boys. Maybe I would have given in and put work email on my phone. Who knows.

We’re back to that worry about work as addiction again I think.

I got a huge avalanche of praise and flattery from the big boss last week – that’s the buzz. And now the come down and the searching for another success.

Would I be happier, freer if I could break the cycle? A better mum? A better roll model to the boys?

According to my philosophy equality in the home and workplace are both important. I couldn’t not work – for me, for pride and self worth, and for my boys so they grow up seeing a strong, influential woman caring for them and loving them (alongside their hard working successful dad caring from them and loving them).

Himself says it’s time for a different job. But where else will I find the convenience I have now?

So I’m trapped in this one. Trying really hard to resist checking my email after hours.

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